Friend Like Me

Well, Ali Baba, had them forty thieves
Scheherazade had a thousand tales
But, master, you're in luck, 'cause up your sleeve
You got a brand of magic never fails
You got some power in your corner now
Some ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo, and how?
All you gotta do is rub that lamp and I'll say

"Mister Aladdin, sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me"

Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maître d'
Come on, whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me
Yes, sir
We pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah
Say what you wish, it's yours, true dish
How 'bout a little more baklava?
Have some of column A
Try all of column B
I'm in the mood to help you, dude
You ain't never had a friend like me

Oh, no
Oh, yeah

Can your friends do this?
Can your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this
Out their little hat?
Can your friends go–?
Hey, looky here
Wait, who was that?
Can you friends go "Abracadabra, let 'er rip!"
And then make a sucker disappear
So don't just sit there, slack-jaw, buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got the bona fide, certified
You got a genie for your charge d'affaires
I got a powerful urge to help you out
Are y'all B.F.S.? I got enough
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
All you gotta do is rub like so
Mister Aladdin, sir
Have a wish, or two, or three
Well, I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never
Had a
Friend
Like
Me

You ain't never had a friend like me