You Done Tamed Me

You done tamed me
This buck no longer is free
A lady doctor from New York City
Smiled at me with her eyes all pretty
Now I'm hooked, and it's made me giddy
You done tamed me
Oh, Danny, no
I-I-I'm flattered, but where I come from this was what we call a, uh, rebound
So let's just keep it—
But wait, how's a broke and busted carnie like me gonna provide
For my brand-new, high-falutin' big city bride
And the kid that's on the way?
Whoa, okay, I'm not your bride, and no need to worry about a baby
'Cause I have this magic thing called an IUD
Course, if he's a boy everything'll be fine
But what if he's a girl?
A dainty, delicate, pink-wearin', frills and curls girl?
That'd change everything
But would it really?
And so from this day forward, I vow
I'm gonna get me some money some way, somehow
I am not pregnant, I paid a colleague to stick a copper, T-shaped device up my uter—
I gotta get some money
Forget it
And there's no way to make it
So I'm gonna have to steal it, or even take it
Those are the same thing
Or filch it or pilfer it or rob it or swipe it
Or nick it or thieve it or finagle it or abscond with it
Bye
Or die!