What's the Matter With Men?

Men
Yeah, men
What's the matter with men?
Everything
Everything?
Let me say it again
Everything
Everything
Ask him what he's feeling
He becomes a clam
Ask him what he knows
You've opened up the dam
What's the matter with men?
Crude and crass, passing gas
Bums and bores, starting wars
That is what's the matter with men
A word for Aloysius
Who's really quite a dear
Although at times the things he does
May seem a little queer
Oh, honey.
He's not the kind of man who gawks at other gals
In fact he treats the female race as if we were his pals
This was literally me in high school
You've never met a man more tender or expressive
I only wish that nightly, he were slightly more aggressive
There it is
Men
Yeah, men
What's the matter with men?
Keeping score
Earning more
They are fine now and then
But as a whole
Take their toll
Call a man to dinner
He will swiftly come
Call for help and suddenly
He's deaf and dumb
What's the matter with men?
Always right
Eat like pigs
Snore all night
Wear your wigs
What?
Nothing
But still I love them unabashedly
So tell me what's the matter with me
Men
What's the matter with men?
Smirks and snorts, all their sports
Beefs and brawls, all their balls
That is what's the matter with men
Men