Sweet Contradiction

I've been writing letters about where my head is
Don't know if it's healthy or if it helps me, but whatever
I've been meditating while I'm medicated
'Cause I know too well, hope is easy to sell when the feeling is faded
I've been avoiding direction but wanna see where I'm going
I'm still cravin' adventure while I've been stayin' at home
I'm a sweet contradiction of someone shrinking while growing
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet
Oh, I've been avoiding direction but wanna see where I'm going
I'm still cravin' adventure while I've been stayin' at home
I'm a sweet contradiction of someone shrinking while growing
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet
Oh, but I'm on my way, but I'm on my way
I haven't left yet
I've been checking my vitals, 'cause my heart's been quiet
I put two fingers to to my neck just to check I'm alive still
And it feels endless, and I'm only at the start
Man, I don't get this, like running full speed in the dark
I'm avoiding direction but wanna see where I'm going
I'm still cravin' adventure while I've been stayin' at home
I'm a sweet contradiction of somemone shrinking while growing
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet
Oh, I've been praying to someone though I know barely know Him
I've got great expectations, meanwhile, the bar is in Hell
I'm a sweet contradiction of someone sinking while floating
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet
Oh, but I'm on my way (I'm on my way), but I'm on my way
I haven't left yet
Oh, but I'm on my way (I'm on my way), but I'm on my way
I haven't left yet (Oh)
Ooh, I'm on my way
I'm afraid of rejection, but I still wanna be chosen
Though I know I gotta love me on my own
I'm a sweet contradiction, but at least I know it
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet
But I'm on my way