Shane Dawson – 82 (Spoof Of 22 By Taylor Swift) Lyrics


I’m sick of those pretty boys
Checkin’ their mirrors
Waxin’ their ball hairs
(Uh-ah, uh-oh)

I’m sick of those rocker boys
They’re always cheatin’
With girls who are younger
(Uh-ah, uh-oh)

A guy who won’t talk shit about me on Twitter
Cause he don’t know what the fuck that is
Oh, yeah!
I’m lookin’ for a guy who has some experience tonight

I’m sick of young dudes
I wanna guy who’s 82
He can put up with me
Cause he served in World War 2

He thinks I can sing
Cause he’s got real bad hearing
He’s a little racist
So I gotta hide my black friends from him

He’s 82, oooh
He’s 82, oooh oooh oooh

Chill out with his old friends
Shitting in our Depends
Takin’ medications
(Uh-ah, uh-oh)

After this we gonna have a big lame party, tonight
Uh oh

I’m sick of young dudes
I wanna guy who’s 82
He has so many age spots
I thought they were tattoos

His family can’t hate me
Cause they’re all R I P
When we have sex he screams
“Bitch who’s your Granddaddy?”

Cause he’s 82, oooh
82, oooh oooh oooh


[Aunt Hilda] There’s that bitch that stole our husbands
[Taylor and Larry] [gasp] [Aunt Hilda] Let’s kill her!
[Old ladies] Yeah!

We’ll get beat up by women who are 82
Holy shit there’s blood everywhere
That Asian one knows kung-fu

It feels like one of those nights
We got our ass kicked
It feels like one of those nights
I lost my vision

It feels like one of those nights
Internal bleeding
My legs lost feeling
I’m sick of fighting

[Aunt Hilda] Oh, why? You too scared to die, bitch?
[Taylor] Larry is an adult. Let’s let him decide who he wants to be with.
[Aunt Hilda] Ugh, fine! Who do you want to be with, Larry?
[Larry] I-I-I. I ch-ch-ch-chchoose… [dies] [Aunt Hilda] [gasp] [Taylor] Oh my god!
[Aunt Hilda] Taylor! Did you not give him his 8 o’clock heart pill?
[Taylor] 8 o’clock heart pill? Ugh, that sounds like so much responsibility.
[Aunt Hilda] Ugh, it really is.
[Taylor] Hashtag, no, thank you.
[Aunt Hilda] Hashtag, I agree girlfriend.
[Taylor] Hashtag, you’re kinda cute.
[Aunt Hilda] Hashtag, I’m not a monkey, but I’ll swing that way
[Taylor] Hashtag, I don’t really know what you mean about the monkey thing, but hashtag, I’m in.
[Aunt Hilda] [excited gasp]

Sick of guys like him,
Let’s just be lesbian
And after all this silly fighting,
Let’s get to scissoring

Screw all these stupid guys,
Let’s have a good time
Screw all these stupid guys,
Let’s go out tonight

Screw all these stupid guys,
I’ll give girls a try
Let’s have a good time
Let’s have a good time!

[Taylor] Ah! I forgot to tell you, I have herpes.
[Aunt Hilda] Hey! So do I!

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