I’m Doug,
And I’m Darrell,
And we are squirrels.
We live in your backyard in a big oak tree,
That’s our world.
We saw you and your family,
Filming us with your Flip cam.
Shaking out little tails,
Eating crackers from your hand.
We know we’re irresistible,
Seemingly even kissable,
Extremely home video-able,
And effortlessly uploadable.
But what makes you think that gives you the right,
To make us internet memes,
Overnight.
We didn’t sign a release.
You didn’t get our consent,
To put our private lives on the public internet.
We didn’t sign a release.
You seem surprised to find we’re upset.
You wonder,
“How in the world can squirrels talk,
Much less have the internet.”
Well, you have email,
We have tree mail.
You have smartphones,
We have pinecones.
You have social networks,
We have elaborate squeaks and chirps.
[Squirrel noises]
He just said, “You have no right to publish or distribute audio or video recordings of us including, but not limited to: our names, recorded mating calls, photographs, likenesses, nest location, tail length, or any information based on or derived there from.
[Squirrel noises]
Ah yes.
In any forest…
[Squirrel noises]
…And perpetuity”
If you don’t cease and presist,
A suit will be filed.
Especially if we end up in the next,
Squirrelz Gone Wild!