Lyrics
I didn't mean to lose me but everywhere i looked she was what they clapped for so i started reaching started changing and started breaking and still it wasn't enough
i try to be her the one they like more so i want what they want
at last my boy i'd dimmed down my fire to make room for their light kept my dreams in my mouth and let theirs take flight
i sucked in my stomach held in my truth watch them when while i watered my roots but it never felt safe
i'm just silent and small like i was showing up but not showing up at all i tried to be her but i lost too much
my voice my joy my soft my touch i try to be perfect they still picked apart
i try to stay humble but they still broke my heart i forgot my name chasing hers until my soul started to hurt and now i'm done trying to belong where i bleed cause trying to be her almost buried me
i posted like i was okay i woke up and down smiling in photos while crying on my couch i saw her success compared it to my past and hated myself for things i never ask
i got a shrink so i wouldn't intimidate play quiet in rooms where i should have been great and they cheered for the version that cost me my peace but i ain't clapping no more for a dream that ain't me i try to be her but she ain't survived
she looked real strong but she barely felt alive
and i wore the mask till it cracked in my hand and the girl underneath was too tired to stand i traded my softness
to stay in the game but nothing's worth
i'm i'm done trying to earn what's already mine i ain't her but i'm divine
what if your beauty don't match the trend what if your peace means losing friends
what if your softness ain't weakness but gold what if your truth too wild to hold what if you ain't supposed to fit a box that ain't for you what if the glow up is just getting back to what's true
ooh ooh i don't wanna be her
i just want to be free to be loved in my role not my strategy i don't need to perform i just need to breathe
if i cross the room but keep my soul i'll leave
i ain't her but i'm still home in this version of me deserves to be told
i try to be her the one they like more so i want what they want
at last my boy i'd dimmed down my fire to make room for their light kept my dreams in my mouth and let theirs take flight
i sucked in my stomach held in my truth watch them when while i watered my roots but it never felt safe
i'm just silent and small like i was showing up but not showing up at all i tried to be her but i lost too much
my voice my joy my soft my touch i try to be perfect they still picked apart
i try to stay humble but they still broke my heart i forgot my name chasing hers until my soul started to hurt and now i'm done trying to belong where i bleed cause trying to be her almost buried me
i posted like i was okay i woke up and down smiling in photos while crying on my couch i saw her success compared it to my past and hated myself for things i never ask
i got a shrink so i wouldn't intimidate play quiet in rooms where i should have been great and they cheered for the version that cost me my peace but i ain't clapping no more for a dream that ain't me i try to be her but she ain't survived
she looked real strong but she barely felt alive
and i wore the mask till it cracked in my hand and the girl underneath was too tired to stand i traded my softness
to stay in the game but nothing's worth
i'm i'm done trying to earn what's already mine i ain't her but i'm divine
what if your beauty don't match the trend what if your peace means losing friends
what if your softness ain't weakness but gold what if your truth too wild to hold what if you ain't supposed to fit a box that ain't for you what if the glow up is just getting back to what's true
ooh ooh i don't wanna be her
i just want to be free to be loved in my role not my strategy i don't need to perform i just need to breathe
if i cross the room but keep my soul i'll leave
i ain't her but i'm still home in this version of me deserves to be told